An unwanted gift

Oh maaan, that really isn’t the gift you asked for. It’s the wrong colour, the wrong style, the wrong thing, oh dear. And everyone’s looking (including the gift giver), you’re on the spot, what do you do? Now memories flood you with how you’ve been giving not-so-subtle hints of what you really wanted, what you really needed, so why did they get you THAT?! Don’t they know you and what you truly like? Don’t they listen to you and make notes of every hint you offer? Don’t they want what you want or have better taste than THAT? What are the rules of exchanging, is it rude? Is it ungrateful? Should you just store the gift on some shelf to gather dust in the dark?

An overblown reaction? Perhaps. But not if you consider that it isn’t really about the gift itself or the etiquette of receiving it. The gift can be received with a believable “thank you”, and an undisclosed outcome. But that isn’t really the issue. It’s really about the relationship between you and the gift giver, especially if it’s someone close to you who you would hope would get you exactly what you wanted even if you didn’t realise you wanted it.

Before you reach your final judgement, consider the following: there are more than these two options, 1) this gift or 2) the perfect gift. There are many other options that are much worse… much, much, much worse: it could be way too expensive or way too cheap, it could be way too big and really so ugly, it could be a hideous colour with a revolting smell. It could even be no gift, or even a no-show from the gift giver at all.

When we need reasons to be grateful, we tend to find them. When we recognise the many less-preferred scenarios, it can help us appreciate the scenario that we’re in. When we recognise that the person really thought they’d be making us happy, it can help us appreciate them more. And when we appreciate the moment and the person, everything becomes so much lighter and easier, we might feel happier, resulting in a genuine “thank you”.

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Not forgetting that things could have been better, consider your communication skills and how you can improve on them so that next time you’ll get the gift you actually wanted 😉