When it’s so dark

What do you do when it’s so dark? You don’t know if you’re in or out, you don’t know if your efforts are moving you forwards or, like a wheel stuck in mud, sinking you further into the darkness. There is no sign of the promised light at the end of the tunnel, nothing to grasp, no one to lean on. In the darkness you imagine that, just as you can’t see anyone, no one can see you. What is the point of trying? What is the point of being? The point is that YOU MATTER, and where you are, you have some control of what will be; and where you are-not there will be a void with a potential outcome far worse than darkness. So let’s figure out a way out of the darkness…

“You don’t know if you’re in or out”

Does it matter that I’m there if I don’t know where “there” is? Ask yourself: where else would you be? Where else could you be? Who could be there (where-ever “there” is) instead? What would they know that you don’t, what would they do that you haven’t? These are very practical questions and answering them may give you a clue as to where you are, what you should be doing, or how you can be moving away. It is essential for you to accept that what you do where-ever you are is unique, and therefore will impact others in that space, for better or worse, depending on your choices of action.

“You don’t know if your efforts are moving you forwards”

Do your efforts count if you don’t acknowledge them? Ask yourself what efforts are you making? Consider what might happen if you stopped making those efforts; in fact, consider what might happen if you did nothing at all. The key element here is that you must appreciate the small things that are an effort, LIKE: showing up every day, keeping the task at hand in your mind, asking for others’ advice, avoiding sabotaging progress that has been made. Often times, in the short term, it can feel as if we’re not moving forward. During these times it is essential that we recognise that our efforts are, at minimum, preventing us from falling behind.

“No light, nothing to grasp, no one to lean on”

In the darkest, most austere, loneliest times, it is essential to remember that things move and time passes regardless of what we do and where we are. Night turns to day and light will appear. Emptiness becomes a part of a clearly defined environment that we can navigate through. No-one turns to someone from a distance, who turns into someone nearby, who turns into someone to say hello to, who turns into someone to ask for help from. Circumstances change, but it is up to us to recognise the changes and take action to make the most out of opportunities that present themselves.

“If you can’t see anyone, no one can see you”

People will see you regardless if you see them or not. People will see you regardless if you take action or not. Let them see you for something good that will inspire them. Let them see you for bringing light to their darkness.

“What is the point of trying? What is the point being?”

Sometimes you feel like you want the end to come. The end, you feel, might be the only way to end the misery, to end the struggle, to end the loneliness. But whilst you are searching for a way to end this chapter, you must strive to find a way to improve the story of the rest of your life. You are part of a greater story; you are part of other peoples’ stories. Your part matters, YOU MATTER.

You matter and where you are, you have some control. You have control of what you do and when you have control of what you do, you have some control of what will be. When you have control of what will be you have the power to make a change. Since you have the power to make a change do what you can to make a change for the better.

Where you are-not, you have no control. Where you are-not but expected to be, there will be a void, a void filled by someone and by actions with a potential outcome far worse than the current darkness.

When it’s so dark you must always remember: YOU MATTER AND THE WORLD NEEDS YOU.