What they think… and what I think about that.

“Was anyone even listening to my ground-breaking idea?” (I assume that’s what the seagull is wondering)

So, you’ve been working on something, you achieved something you’re proud of, you have a dream of doing something wonderful and you can’t wait to share this with your family, your friends, your colleagues, how they’ll be proud of you! Alas, their reaction is not as inspiring as you had hoped. It’s lacking in enthusiasm or even a bit heavy on the “constructive criticism” in varying degrees of helpfulness. And you wonder if a drop of rain, previously floating up above the world, degraded to being splattered on some concrete, feels like this.

What do you do? How do you pick yourself up from this? Here are a few points to consider:

Was this “something” important? Are you shrugging it off and moving on to the next thing? Or are you fighting for this “something” to succeed? In 3 months, 1 year, 5 years’ time, would you be happier having persevered and progressed with this “something” or can you imagine something else you would be doing then?

If at this point you realise that “meh, it may have been fun, but not that important and I don’t really care”, then just as well you realised now so you can invest your time in something (a “new something”) that matters to you more. However, if this “something” is important to you then it’s worth considering the effects of the reaction

What kind of reaction were you hoping for? Was it affirmation that you’re doing great things and they love you for it? Was it enthusiasm to the point of them wanting to join in and help you in this “something”? Was it advice and contacts that will take you to the next stage of achieving this “something”?

And when you didn’t get the reaction you were hoping for, was that because they didn’t use the words and tone you were expecting? Was the potentially unsolicited advice putting you down because that’s not what you wanted them to say or not what you want to do for this “something” to come to fruition?

Now, what next? Is this potentially unsolicited advice giving you excuses to stop and move on (or move nowhere at all)? Or is it heightening your awareness of how important this “something” is to you, firing up your determination to achieve this “something”?

Now that you’re clear about how important this “something” is, it’s also worth considering the advice givers.

Are these people important? Or less harshly put, are they important to you in this instance? Or more harshly put, are they important at all? Do they want the best for you? If so, could their words represent an uncomfortable truth that you were aware of, but were avoiding tackling? If they don’t want the best for you, were you intending to show them up by showing that you excelled beyond their expectations (or abilities)?

And back to the what next question, have these people given you excuses to stop and move on (or move nowhere at all)? Or have they heightened your awareness of how important this “something” is to you, firing up your determination to achieve this “something”?

The answers might change for each “something” you seek, but the questions are the same:

Is the “something” important to you? It helps to consider, if it wasn’t this “something”, what would it be?

Are these people important now or at all? It helps to consider, if it weren’t these people, the who?

And now the key thing you need to decide – what next?