Cold water is just wet water

One winter many years ago, our boiler wasn’t working and I complained to my dad that I absolutely could not have a cold shower, I was so worried I’d freeze my fingers. Matter-of-fact as he is, he told me “Don’t think of the water being cold, think of it being wet”. And I did, and I didn’t feel the cold at all.

There are times when we get flooded with emotions, at times so debilitating, that they may prevent us from completing the task at the best of our ability. Similar to water, emotions are intangible and can be difficult to manipulate, however many NLP exercises help us do exactly that. By focusing on the physical reaction we experience due to these emotions, we are able to manipulate them to our advantage. Try the following steps:

1.       Where do you feel the emotions?

Are they predominantly in your head, potentially giving you a headache; are they in your chest, making it difficult to breathe; are they in your stomach, giving you cramps and general discomfort; are they in your hands, making them all sweaty; are they in your legs, making it difficult to walk? You may feel it in multiple places, but normally people have one place that stands out, what is yours?

2.       If you were to give a physical description, what would the feeling look like?

Is it so big that it’s taking over the whole area of your body, or is it like a small bit that’s pulling all of your attention? What colour does it have, a throbbing red or a thick muddy brown or any other colour? What shape does it have, a smooth circle, rigid square or perhaps a spikey blobby shape? Is it still or does it have movement, maybe spinning around in your body?

Now you have a physical portrayal of the previously intangible emotion. We will address the physical aspects rather than how these emotions might or might not affect the quality of the task we’ve been given.

3.       One aspect at a time, now change the image you described to a favourable image:

Change the movement – if it spun in one direction, spin it to the opposite direction; if it moved side to side, bounce it up and down; if it didn’t move at all, give it some sort of movement.

Change the shape to one you enjoy looking at, a shape that represents something you like – it could be a simple oval or it could be a statue you like.

Give it a colour that you love and associate with actions you enjoy doing.

Make it a size that does not get in the way of other shapely emotions co-existing all around your body.

4.       Move it to a place that is helpful and inspiring

Now you have a shape you like, where do you want it to be? Still in the same area of your body; maybe a different area; maybe even outside of your body?

Now, with the previous debilitating image out of the way, and keeping in mind the image of the new shape with its new colour in its new place, consider the task that you need to complete and take the first step to complete it.

The water is no longer cold, it’s just wet, and that’s just fine.